How to hold a Mother’s Blessing (Blessing Way)
You may have heard of a blessing way as an alternative to the traditional baby shower. A blessing way is a Navajo (Diné) ritual, so out of respect for their traditional I prefer to use the term Mother’s Blessing.
I love Mother’s Blessings. I loved mine before I had my son, and I love to hold them for pregnant women in my life. It offers a heartfelt approach to honoring the mother-to-be and the transition she’s bravely stepping into.
The Essence of a Mother’s Blessing Ceremony
Unlike a baby shower, which typically focuses on gifts for the baby, a Mother’s Blessing is centered around the emotional and spiritual preparation of the mother. It’s normally pretty intimate, with a few close friends and family invited. The ceremony is filled with rituals and activities that nurture the mother’s spirit and fortify her for the birthing process and motherhood. You can do this in whatever way fits you best, there’s no wrong way to celebrate! Here are a few ideas from Mother’s Blessing’s I’ve held and attended:
Create a Sacred Space: The blessing often begins with the creation of a sacred space, which can be as simple or elaborate as you want. This space is usually decorated with flowers, herbs, candles, and other meaningful items that set the tone.
Sharing Stories and Well Wishes: The attendees can share their own birth stories, wisdom, and support. I like to set an expectation that this space is for empowering stories only that will fill the mom up with strength. This storytelling creates a sense of community and continuity, connecting the mother-to-be with all of the many women who have done this too.
Gifts: You can have people bring gift for the mom to celebrate the amazing work she is doing! Maybe that’s a postpartum massage certificate, a frozen meal, a pregnancy tea blend, or a nice oil or lotion. I always bring my In Full Bloom Birth Affirmation Deck that I made throughout my own pregnancy, since she lean on it for support through pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. The idea is to gift something with her as the focus, as opposed to a traditional baby shower gift.
Pampering the Mother: Foot washing, massage, brushing her hair, or creating henna designs on the belly, are common in a Mother’s Blessing. This care attention helps the mother feel cherished and relaxed. There’s nothing better than being held by the people who you love most!
Creating Items: You might have everyone create something to take with them, such as a beaded necklace or bracelet. My favorite is to make blessing candles. You can buy easy to use beeswax kits and make them together. After you create, everyone takes their candles home. When the mother goes into labor, they light their candles in support, creating a circle of light.
Creating a Salt Bowl: Another beautiful ritual involves creating a salt bowl. A large bowl of Epsom salt is placed at the center, and each guest brings an herb, essential oil, or other natural element to add to the bowl. As they add their contribution, they share their blessings and well-wishes for the mother. This blend becomes a unique, personalized bath salt that the mother can use for a soothing soak, enveloping her in the collective love and blessings of her community.
Closing Ritual: The ceremony often concludes with a closing ritual, which might involve sharing a communal meal, lighting a candle, or joining in a circle of prayers and songs. This signifies the end of the ceremony and the beginning of the mother’s journey into motherhood, fortified by the collective energy and blessings of her community.
My own Mother’s Blessing was extremely meaningful for me, and helped me feel brave in those final few weeks before my sons birth. It helped me feel less alone, and more confident in my ability to become a mother. They’re a time to remind new moms that through all of the hard and the joy of birth and motherhood, there is a community ready to be with them through it.
