After a life time of being obsessed with birth (I mean, I was making art about pregnancy at 15 years old) working at a birth center, helping many friends and family members through birth, and teaching prenatal yoga for years, I thought I had a good grip on what pregnancy and birth was going to be like. I took an amazing Hynpobirthing course, felt educated and empowered in making birth decisions, and maybe most importantly asked for support regularly through my pregnancy.

But looking back at that time, I see a major gap in all of my preparation.

I didn't plan nearly enough support during my early postpartum period!

I want to share some advice as to what i wish I had done to support myself through my postpartum experience, and what I plan to do with my second baby.

I also want to say that everyone's experience is different - we all need support in different ways, live in different circumstances, have unique birth experiences and unique babies. I don't think there's any secret formula, and ultimately we each know what works the best in our own lives. These are just some thoughts I think would help new moms navigate those first few months with more ease and well being.

1. MAKE A SOLID PLAN BEFORE THE BABY COMES

This is my number one piece of advice. I live close by to family and friends, and I just assumed that when I had my fresh baby in my arms I'd just get cozy and people would come knocking and ready to help. In reality, I was so occupied with taking care of my baby and my body that I didn't have the capacity to organize help when I most needed it.

In the second half of your pregnancy, send out a sign up of some kind to whatever community you have around you.You can have time slots that people can sign up to watch older kids, clean, or do laundry. Maybe you have meal sign ups for people to make and drop off on the porch, or days where you have a friend come to give you a foot or neck massage. If there is any time to ask for help, it is in those first weeks of postpartum!

Schedule regular help for 6-8 weeks postpartum at a minimum. And keep asking if you continue to need it!

Our culture is so focused on toughing it out and going through life alone. I say bull shit. Lean on neighbors, friends, and family. Ask for what you need well in advance. You're doing them a favor by asking for help, everyone wins when we support each other. Everyone has seasons of giving and receiving. Receive, my dear. Receive!

2. SUPPORT YOUR BODY WITH TENDERNESS

After birth, your body is working to heal a dinner plate sized wound in your uterus where the placenta has detached. You experience the biggest drop in hormones that humans ever experience in life! Your body puts so much energy towards starting to produce milk. This short period of time is extremely demanding on your life-creating body, and you deserve all of the rest, nutrients, and healing practices you know of. Some of my non-negotiables I believe that every woman deserves:

REST. So, so much rest. One of my favorite ways to do this is to plan on 7 days in bed, 7 days on the bed, and 7 days around the bed after delivering the baby. Give your amazing body ample time to lay, sleep, cuddle baby, and recover. Your health for the following years is impacted by how much you allow yourself to rest during this time.

3. EAT NUTRITIOUS FOOD

Warming, hydrating meals are favored during postpartum time around the world. I recommend the cookbook “First Forty Days" by Amely Greevan, Heng Ou, and Marisa Belger for ideas on what to eat. You can even send a few of these recipes to your community to make and bring to you. Hydrating and eating nutrient rich, soothing food will speed up your healing, help with milk supply, and help your mental health while experiencing those hormone fluctuations.

4. INVEST IN PROFESSIONAL SUPPORT

As much as you can, invest in postpartum massages, pelvic floor physical therapy, and acupuncture as you settle into your new, postpartum body. and mind.

5. HAVE A SUPPORT SYSTEM FOR FEEDING

Breastfeeding takes practice! If you choose to breastfeed, make sure to schedule a meeting with a lactation consultant if you need any support at all. I'd look up some in your area and have their numbers ready before the baby is even born. There are so many resources and you deserve to feel confident and comfortable feeding your baby however you choose. Bleeding nipples are NOT normal!

6. GIVE YOURSELF GRACE AND TEND TO YOUR SPIRIT

Postpartum time is such an intense and potent time. As much as you plan to take care of your physical health, take care of your mind and spirit as well. Connect with community and nature, attend a postpartum support group, or schedule therapy. Use affirmations to remind yourself of your worth, power, and capability. I leaned on my birth affirmation deck during postpartum just as much as during pregnancy.

Postpartum Prep: My 6 Essential Tips to Prepare for Motherhood

How to hold a Mother’s Blessing (Blessing Way)